"Turkey for sale. Partially eaten"
"For sale: One pair hardly used dentures, only 2 teeth mssing"
"GE Mammogram dish washer for sale"
Apparently, while you're washing the dishes, you just lean forward and it gives you... 
"Soccer ball signed by either Pele, the former Brazilian soccer player (...), or by some guy
named Peter, $75."
Full size Mattress (...) Like new. Slight urine smell"
"China cabinet buffet (...) few cat scratches but cat has been killed"
"Oak funeral handmade casket (...) Only used once"
"Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me."
"Used Toilet Paper"
Now here's a good deal. "Tombstone: Standard gray, a good buy for someone named Grady."
"Honda Civic '96 (...) good condition, speaks Spanish."
"For Sale: collection of old people."
"Human skull, used once only"
"1995 Nissan Maxima, (...) good condition, $4500. Not for sale"
He just wants people to know he's got it... 
