Off Incest Repellent. Back off, daddy!
"Eat Kids Free"
Special offer for kid eaters 
Learn to play the harmonica... with your eyes?
hanks to my dentist, I'm wearing my favorite jeans again."
Sounds like the dentist is operating on the wrong end
Apparently, germans like their Easter Bunny with huge boobs
NOTE: What's even scarier, the text translates to: "boob-bunny: funny cuddle-bunny with boobs and bpubic hair [sic!] It's a hit for everyone! gift-hint! size: 10 inches." (thanks Fabian!) 
"We took a young woman with severe memory loss and helped her forget she ever had it."
Now that's an achievement 
Instruments are not expensive as long as you keep your pants down.
"I gave in English everything what you mean! Guaranteed"
Bring your favorite mexican?
Hey, guys, looking for some 'sheep' fun?
Well, as long as it is gentle...
"If you had no idea what to get her for Valentine's Day... Imagine how overwhelming arranging her funeral would be."
Honey, I didn't get you flowers, but I did arranged your funeral 
"24 Hour Animal and Pest Control"... including those annoying babies.
Rejuvenate your skin... Wow – what a difference! Isn't that Keith Carradine?
